Jump-Starting Boys by Pam Withers

Author:Pam Withers [Withers, Pam; Gill, Cynthia; Duffy, John]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Viva Editions

Here are some statistics to ponder:

“Tweens and teens are engaged with media each day, on average, for nearly twice as long as they attend school. Only two hours a day remain when they are not on media, at school, or asleep.”—Bakan, Childhood Under Siege.236

The average time teenage boys in the U.S. spend playing video games: eighteen hours per week. The average time teenage girls in the U.S. spend playing video games: eight hours per week.237

Average time American kids spent with their parents in the mid-1960s: thirty hours per week. Average time American kids spend with their parents now: seventeen hours per week.238

Average time that parents spend in meaningful conversation with their children: three and a half minutes per week.239

The digital world has reduced average sleep by almost two hours.240 Children four and under spend seventy-three to eighty-four percent of their waking hours being sedentary, whereas they should get at least three hours of physical activity each day.241

These factors are working against children learning how to reflect, which is crucial to maturity.

If you winced at any of the above statistics, be aware that the American Academy of Pediatrics recommends that parents limit children’s total screen time to no more than one to two hours of quality programming per day.242 (We offer more suggestions in the sidebar, “Screen Limits,” on page 136.)

Duffy’s advice is to express curiosity about what’s happening on their screens, rather than trotting out judgment and lectures; be someone genuinely interested in what he’s watching, what it’s about, how popular it is in his crowd, and, most important, what he thinks of it. “Teenagers like to be experts and teachers—it fosters their sense of competence,” Duffy says. “Show an interest by asking instead of telling.”243

More than any other generation, today’s kids are either out of the home or engaged in isolated activities within the home.244 By putting a limit on their screen time and coaxing them to chat about their activities while they are home (without overdoing it), you can build goodwill and their self-confidence simultaneously.

Of course, before you lay down the law on kids’ screen time, look at what you are modeling with your iPhone, iPad, Blackberry, and laptop. Pam recently saw a father plop down on the sofa beside his son, who was into his fourth hour of television that day. Finally, she thought: some quality father-son time. But the father pulled out his iPad and proceeded to catch up on work. Sadly, proximity does not qualify as attentiveness.

Perhaps make it a parent/kid challenge: Pin a chart on the wall with both yours and the kids’ names over columns that track screen time. Use it to cut back screen hours simultaneously. Maybe even provide a family electronic-device drop-box at the front door for certain hours of the day—at least for dinnertime.

A school librarian who started up a boys’ reading club was curious when he noticed that the majority of boys who signed up for it were from one large extended family in the community. He asked the

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